TRIBUTE

TRIBUTE: Rebbetzin Pesha Leibowitz, a"h

Last Thursday, Sivan 28, 5764 - June 17, 2004 - Rebbetzin Pesha Leibowitz, a"h, returned her pure soul to her Maker. She was the wife of ybdl"c the Rosh HaYeshiva of Yeshivas Chofetz Chaim, HaGaon Harav Alter Henach Leibowitz shlita; daughter of Moreinu Harav Avraham Trop ztvk"l. The following recollections were recorded by Rabbi Yair Hoffman, a talmid (student) of the Yeshiva:

When I first came to Yeshiva, I was very touched by the personal care and attention that Rebbitzen Leibowitz always gave me and others. Coming from California and never wearing a coat she constantly castigated me for not wearing a coat. She took a personal interest in each Talmid, I remember when one of the Yeshiva's talmidim wanted to liven things up, so he spray-painted some words, on the wall behind the dining room. There were some who started pressuring that the boy be told to go elsewhere. It was the Rebbitzen that made sure that he was not told to go elsewhere. He remained in Yeshiva, married nicely and now is a marbitz Torah (Torah educator) in Eretz Yisroel. I was privy to what the Rebbitzen had done and I was touched by her love for the Yeshiva's Talmidim.

Within a few months of this incident I needed surgery and Dr. Feinberg sent me to Parkway hospital. Little did I know that in that same hospital, I would be a few doors down from the Rebbitzen who was having some problems of her own. After my surgery, I was pretty incapacitated, not to mention laden with wires and tubes, and could not put on tefillin (phylacteries worn by Jewish men during prayer). The Rebbitzen put the Tefillin on me, and did so every day for a week until I was strong enough to do so myself. She mentioned that she had also done this for Rav Naftali Trop. Then there was the jello. The rebbitzen had her own supply of Jello that she gave me to eat weaning me off the IV. I didn't realize it was her own Jello on account of the confluence of pain and pain killers.

The hospital was overbooked, understaffed, and undersupplied. Finally when I was able to walk around, they gave me an IV pole so I could make it to the rest room myself. The problem was that the IV pole was missing one wheel and it was a tremendous strain to move it. I begged and pleaded the hospital staff to obtain a new IV pole for me, but they had none. It seemed to me that it weighed fifty pounds or more. [Although I didn't know it then, I actually had developed a hernia on account of this pole]. I had to go to the bathroom and on account of the 3 wheeled IV pole, I collapsed midway. After that the rebbitzen unilaterally and against my will SWITCHED IV POLES WITH ME. I protested saying that it was not fair to her. She responded, "I am stronger than you, Jordan." And she was.

After my hospitalization (I am not sure whether it was for that one or a different hospitalization), since I was young, far away from my home state of California, she told Rabbi Dovid Chait that she insists that I recover at her home. There I was fed the same type of bland but good food that the Rebbitzen and Rosh Hayeshiva ate and nursed back to health. I spent Shavuos there as well.

I shall always remember her warmth, love and concern that she gave both then and for the next twenty some odd years. She was mother to us all.

Yair Hoffman

If anyone has more recollections, reflections, or anecdotes concerning Rebbetzin Leibowitz, a"h, please send them in to ShulWeek. We would love to publish them.

The Rebbitzen a″h

—Reflections on a True Role Model

by R. Yitzchok Summers

As the sun rose on the Thursday of June 24^th, the shiva concluded for our beloved Rebbitzen a″h, devoted wife of HaGaon HaRav A. H. Leibowitz SHLITA. For those of us who were fortunate to live in her shadow, the world remained dark in spite of the sun shining outside.

We are familiar with the idea that the Alter of Slabodka zy″a had many “benei yachidim (only sons)”—and this is the standard by which every rebbe and rosh yeshiva is judged. However, has anyone ever considered a REBBITZEN living a life driven towards the same goal? This was our Rebbitzen—a life totally devoted to Torah and totally devoted to everyone besides herself.

This magnificent neshama (soul) was the product of the greatest in “gadlus haTorah (Torah greatness).” Her famed grandfather, the GRaNaT (Rav Naftali Trop) zt″l, whose shiurim lessons we all to this day drink thirstily, was the Rosh Yeshiva of Radin. Her father, the tzaddik Rav Avrohom zt″l, was the successor to his father and later the Karliner Rosh Yeshiva. Then as the wife of the Chofetz Chaim Rosh Yeshiva shlit"a, she used every moment focused upon the goal of enabling him to build the many mosdos haTorah (Torah institutions) which exist throughout the world today. This great ‘yichus’ (lineage) was the foundation for such a person—a role model not only for today’s Torah women, but certainly to all benei Torah (Torah adherents).

We often hear about the idea of “tznius”(modesty)—what it is and how important it is for a Torah woman (or any Torah Jew for that matter). But many are affected and infected by the “hashkofa” (outlook) of the outside world—that “fame” and being “known” are the keys to success. The Rebbitzen lived differently. She once commented to me her feelings that their success, and that of the yeshiva, was due to their NOT being known. Parenthetically, she also mentioned her dislike for pictures of people in the paper because later they are discarded—“How can you throw away an image of a tzelem Elokim (person who is created in G-d's Image)?She asked. But indeed, this was her life—to do quietly, and to move worlds without a sound. This is the ultimate model of tznius for the eishes gadol (wife of a great man) and bas gedolim (daughter of great people).

The Rebbitzen was solidly grounded in mesorah (tradition). I will always remember a time during a particularly difficult period in my life when I came back to “the house” one Shabbos night, Parshas Shekalim. A blizzard with all its fury had just begun. I, a native of Los Angeles, stared out the window in amazement—not only at the snow, but the sheer amount of it. Suddenly, a bolt of lightening blazed across the night sky.

The Rebbitzen exclaimed, “Ah Yitzchok, a blitz! I have not seen one during a snow storm since Radin!”

At that moment I was strengthened by the realization that I was standing next to someone steeped in the mesorah of Radin, and no matter how strong is the “storm” raging outside, the world inside is tranquil.

As mentioned before, her devotion to everyone besides herself is legendary. For over fifty years, our Rebbe’s every need was carefully tended. Even if it meant him having to travel to a far off place, to give chizuk (strength) to talmidim (students) who manned a distant mosad (institution), she willingly gave up the precious time with him in order to be mechazeik (strengthen) others.

But is was not only talmidim that were showered with her chesed. Hundreds that did not even know her, were recipients of her generosity. For years she gathered clothing to send to Eretz Yisroel. If she heard of someone going there, she would call and ask if they could take something. Once she heard of an organization in Boro Park that was going to collect clothing to send to Eretz Yisroel. She as always, had plenty to send, and the organization would pay for shipping. The only challenge was how to get the clothing to Brooklyn. She asked us to organize some bochorim (boy students) to drive the items over during bein ha’sedarim (study break time).

“But Rebbitzen,” we protested, “we did this before and there was a long line. We got back late and missed some seder (study time).”

Her total devotion to others also included not compromising on a moment of learning. “Tell them Mrs. Leibowitz sends you.” I had my doubts, but the Rebbitzen reassured me of success. So the cars were arranged, and like clock-work right after morning seder, we were off.

Traffic was a breeze - a neis (miracle) in itself. However, when we arrived we found a line out the door of people waiting to donate their clothing.

I dutifully proceeded to the front of the line where I was approached by a woman who said, “Excuse me sir, but you have to wait in line.”

“Yes,” I replied. “But Mrs. Leibowitz sent us and…”

With those magical words the woman jumped and said, “Yes, please come here right away! Just put everything down and I will take care of the rest.” Within moments everything was in place and we were back in our cars. We arrived back at the yeshiva in plenty of time for seder—just as she had promised.

Though many might not have known, she was aware of and concerned for each and every one of her “benei yechidim.” Those of us who had the incredible zechus (merit) of living in her home saw it clearly. She was always asking us where our coats were if we had ventured out without them.

Once I had a cold that dragged on and on. So one morning, as I was about to leave for davening, she stopped me at the door. “Yitzchok, you are not feeling well and you are schlepping (dragging). Stay in bed today and rest. You will see that you will feel better. Don’t worry, I will bring you food.”

That entire day, meals fit for a king were brought, along with drink galore. The next day, as promised, I was much improved. But this incident is just a microcosm of how she felt and cared for EACH talmid (student)—no matter how long they were in the yeshiva, and no matter how long ago they attended. If a talmid mentioned that a talmid of theirs was facing a challenge, she would sigh and give an insight (always predicated upon the Rosh Yeshiva’s agreement). At the end of these conversations, she would ask for their name so that she could daven for them. Weeks and sometimes months later when the talmid would call, she would never fail in asking how the talmid’s talmid was doing and if their situation was better.

As we try to find nechama (consolation) now following her shloshim (30 day period of mourning), we thank the Abersheter (L-rd) for the giant he gave us to learn and benefit from. Her light will forever enlighten our lives. In her zechus we go forward to live as she modeled, and further the ideals of Torah, chesed (kindness) and tznius that she embodied.

If anyone has more recollections, reflections, or anecdotes concerning Rebbetzin Leibowitz, a"h, please send them in to ShulWeek. We would love to read and to possibly publish them.

SHLOSHIM: The Rebbetzin

On Thursday, Sivan 28, 5764, June 17, 2004; Rebbetzin Pesha Leibowitz, a”h, returned her soul to her creator. “The Rebbetzin” as we called her, was at the same time very simple and very complex.

I was privileged to be able to fly in from San Diego for the levaya (funeral), which was held in the Bais Medrash of the Chofetz Chaim Yeshiva in Kew Gardens Hills, New York, and attended by some 1,850 people. We were mourning the loss of this great woman who meant so very much to us here in America and for the loss of one of the few remaining links to a different world – the pre-war European Yeshiva world.

At the levaya, many people spoke about The Rebbetzin’s unparalleled devotion to the Rosh Yeshiva and the talmidim (students). How she was the Eim Hayeshiva – the mother of the yeshiva. Indeed, she did look after us like a mother. When she learned that I hurt my back and was bedridden for a few days, she sent a hot-water bottle to my dormitory room for pain relief and a special tray with legs, designed for eating in bed.

She was a mother to all the talmidim; but, what about the children of the talmidim? What was her relationship toward them? My personal experience in this regard is one that I will never forget for the rest of my life:

In November 1990, we were in our last year of kollel (intensive Talmudic program for married students) and had three children, a 3-year-old Dovid, a 2-year-old Rivki, and a brand new bouncing baby boy Shlomo Moshe who had just been born. In February 1991, our beautiful son Shlomo Moshe Lederman, a"h, died of SIDS at the age of three months.

The funeral was held at the Chofetz Chaim Yeshiva building. The street was blocked off with police barricades to make room for the participants to stand. HoRav Shmuel Niman sadly lamented that three short months ago, Shlomo Moshe was brought to the Yeshiva for his bris; and now to our deep anguish, he is being brought to the yeshiva for his levaya (funeral).

After the funeral, Neal Kugelman drove my aishes chayil (wife) and myself to the cemetery for the kevurah (burial). As we were about to leave, I asked Eliezer Halpern to make sure that there would be a minyan (quorum of 10 men) driving out for the kevurah so that kaddish could be said – it was a very long drive to the cemetery and I didn’t imagine very many people making that trip. Eliezer looked at me (like I was nuts) and said, “Don’t worry, there will definitely be a minyan there.” Despite his confidence I wasn’t convinced.

I guess I didn’t understand, for as we were driving on the highway, we looked back at the procession of cars headed to the cemetery and it was so long that we couldn’t even see the end of it. In fact my sister Robin told me that she was so far back in the line that she couldn’t see the front of the line, yet she still couldn’t see the back of the line – that’s how long the procession was.

There were hundreds of people at the cemetery (yes, we got a minyan) and there were hundreds who came during the week for shiva, and many who phoned or wrote divrei nechama (words of consolation) literally from around the world. The outpouring of kindness and compassion was amazing.

We learned though, that as much as everyone cries and acutely feels your pain with genuine sincerity and deep sensitivity during the shiva period; after a few weeks, people start to forget about the whole thing and no longer realize how much your life has been altered.

One person, however, did not forget. Several months later, the Rebbetzin, mentioned to me that my children still had a sadness about them from the loss of their baby brother. They weren't as carefree as they used to be she observed. Evidently, the Rebbetzin had been noticing my children, and had been talking to them and taking them under her wing.

All this time, she had been involved with them and was monitoring their progress while I was totally unaware. The Rebbetzin took a unique interest in our children, helped them through an immensely difficult time and forged a special bond with them. I can never forget her for this, I can never be grateful enough, for as long as I live.

After we moved to San Diego, Yehudah Simes, a young yeshiva bochur, came to visit us for Yom Tov. The Rebbetzin sent a big bag of candy with him for our children. We gave our children some of the candy every Shabbos. Since it was a lot, it lasted for a very long time and our kids began to refer to it as ‘Rebbetzin candy.’

Thus was the relationship between my children and the Rebbetzin. Indeed, when Dovid – now turning 17 - learned of her passing he was heartbroken. Finally he said that he felt like he lost a grandmother. Indeed we have all lost a mother.