D'Var Torah - Parshas Pinchus
Originally, Hashem (G-d) told Aharon that he and his children were to be
kohains (high priests), and any children born to them in the future would
automatically be kohains. One of Aharon's children, Elazar, already had a child
Pinchus at that time. Since he was a grandchild, not a child; and would not be
born in the future because he was already born, Pinchus was excluded from being
a kohain - there was no grandfather clause. This was surely a disappointing and
frustrating situation for Pinchus.
Eventually, Pinchus was appointed a kohain, as
this parsha (weekly Torah portion) describes. We often have setbacks and
disappointments; but if we have patience, persistence and a little faith, things
eventually come our way as the following true story illustrates:
Noa was a young lady who, with great courage and
personal conviction, moved to Israel from San Diego. She was living in the small
town of Tzfat, which she loved. It wasn't easy for her, but with great
dedication she struggled to make ends meet, all the while waiting, hoping and
praying to meet her bashert (intended) and begin a Jewish family. Because of the
intense difficulties of supporting herself, she was faced with possibility of
having to leave Tzfat to go to a larger city in Israel or worse yet, to return
to San Diego. She consulted a Rabbi who advised her to stay in Tzfat. With great
faith, she accepted that advice even though on the surface, it didn't seem to
make sense, at least not good business sense.
Yosef was living in Ashdod, working at a job there,
and devoting himself to daily Torah study. He was at a crossroads, not sure what
path to take in terms of his future. He consulted a Rabbi who told him to return
to the holy city of Tzfat where his family lived and seek his future there.
Everyone whom he mentioned this to, said it was crazy, as Ashdod was a thriving
city with a booming economy full of opportunity, while Tzfat had little to offer
in the way of anything. He was undeterred. The Rabbi said go to Tzfat, and off
to Tzfat he went.
After arriving in Tzfat, his mother mentioned to him
of a wonderful girl named Noa, whom she had met a year ago but had lost touch
with. If only she could find her again, she would be perfect for her son Yosef.
That same day Noa went to the famous grave site of Shem V'Ever and prayed to
Hashem for a shidduch (match). There was a big Torah lecture being given that
night, so she went straight from the grave site to the lecture.
As she was going down the steps from the grave site to
a walking bridge, she saw a young man approaching the bridge from the opposite
direction. She was immediately taken by him - she felt she was looking at an
angel. He too was crossing the bridge. She looked down at her watch because she
didn't want to stare at him but her heart was pounding as she crossed the bridge
with this stranger. Little did she know but he had the exact same reaction to
her and he also started looking at his watch to avoid staring. There was no
conversation on that bridge but they both knew what time it was.
When Noa arrived at the lecture, it was big and
crowded and there were not many more seats. Noa found a seats for herself and
some friends. Just then she saw her good friend Gila seated on the other side of
the auditorium. She asked Gila to join her, but Gila said she had had an
exhausting day and was too tired to move. Noa managed to find exactly enough
seats for everybody and moved her party to Gila's side of the room.
As Noa was about to finally sit down, she heard a
voice calling her name. It was Yosef's mother Miriam, who was also seated on
that side of the room. Had Noa not moved to that side of the huge crowded room,
Miriam never would have seen her. Miriam now told Noa all about her son
Yosef, and suggested they go on a date. Noa said sure, why not give it a try.
Miriam pointed out her son to Noa who was shocked to see that this was the
"angel" on the bridge. He was equally delighted when he discovered who she
was. Yosef and Noa dated and it did not take long for them to get engaged and
the rest is history.
Had she not stayed in Tzfat, had Yosef not gone to
Tzfat, had Gila not been exhausted, had there not been just enough seats to move
to the other side - had so many things not happened precisely as they did -
Yosef and Noa never would have met. When something is meant to be, Hashem will
move heaven and earth to make it happen.
Before the Jews entered the land of Israel, Moshe apportioned the land.
Each tribe and family got a share. The family of Tzelafchad received
nothing because Tzelafchad had died and with no sons. His daughters
believed that they were entitled to a portion of the land. They sought
out Moshe and found him teaching Torah. They waited silently until he
began teaching the laws of inheritance, then presented a brilliant
intricate legal argument for their case. Their claim was upheld and they
were granted the land.
The daughters of Tzelafchad were praiseworthy for many reasons. They
were well versed in Torah knowledge. They had a clear grasp of the most
complex levels of Jewish jurisprudence. Furthermore, their desire for a
portion of the land was not motivated by the normal desire for ownership,
it was based on a deep love of Eretz Yisroel (Bamidbar Rabbah 21:10).
This pure and sincere love was so great that it overshadowed their normal
desire for material acquisition.
The Midrash singles out one quality in particular to praise - their
timing. They waited for the most opportune moment to approach Moshe and
only then presented their argument. Why does the Midrash select this
minor attribute over and above all the other amazing qualities they
possessed?
The Midrash is teaching us that the crowning virtue of all virtues is
common sense - seichel. Without this a person can possess intellectual
knowledge and brilliance, remarkable talent and ability, wonderful
sincere intentions; yet still fail in his endeavors. The daughters of
Tzelafchad understood human nature sufficiently to know the crucial
difference timing makes. They knew when and how to make their
presentation. This insight enabled them to succeed in their claim.
The most uncommon thing in the world in common sense. One can master the
complexities of a supercomputer yet be unable to interface with a fellow
human being. Through the study of Torah, with the analysis and honest
introspection of Mussar, we can deepen our understanding of human nature
and actually increase our common sense.
DVAR TORAH: Pinchus
Pinchus cared about
G-d's honor and accomplished outstanding things
because of it. The daughters of Tzelofchad cared deeply
about the Land of Israel and as a result, accomplished
amazing things. When we care passionately about
something, incredible things can happen as the following
true story, written by Abraham J. Twerski, M.D., Founder
of the Gateway Rehabilitation System, illustrates:
Many years ago a
young woman I'll call Robin was admitted to Gateway out
of prison where she was jailed for repeatedly committing
crimes to support her narcotics habit, some of those
crimes fairly ugly. Her therapist at the center took
great interest in her and told me that it was imperative
we find a long term facility for Robin rather than
sending her back out on the street. She was certain that
if Robin was released from our relatively short program
that she would relapse, violate her probation, and end
up once again in prison.
I found a program for Robin which could provide
residential treatment for a year. However Robin refused
to hear of it.
We periodically hold meetings with staff and patients
where we gather to discuss various issues and air
grievances. At one such meeting, with Robin in
attendance, the director threw the room open to anyone
who had something to share. After some silence, Robin's
therapist blurted out that she was going to quit. She
began to cry. She went on to say that she had put her
guts into Robin and she was positive Robin would not
stay clean if she left treatment. Rather than watch her
patient destroy herself, the therapist was determined to
quit.
At this point Robin rose, walked across the room and put
her arm around her therapist whose despondency
persisted. Many of the patients and staff members tried
to cajole her into going on for more treatment but Robin
remained adamant. It was quite a role reversal with the
therapist crying and Robin comforting her.
A few days later the therapist found me in my office and
said, "Something about Robin has changed. I think she
can make it on her own as an outpatient after all."
Indeed, Robin left the facility, attended recovery
meetings and remained out of jail.
I wondered just what had worked for Robin and at a
recovery meeting I heard her tell her story: she had
been raised in several foster homes. "No one had ever
really cared for me," she said. "I got to feel useless,
a burden to everyone. I hated the world for treating me
like a worthless piece of junk.
"I didn't believe anyone could care for me. When my
therapist cried over my refusal to go for long term
treatment, worrying about what might happen to me, it
was the first time in my life that anyone ever really
cared about what might happen to me. I couldn't believe
her feelings were for real and for a while I continued
to test her sincerity. When I realized her caring was
genuine it gave me hope that maybe the world was not as
cruel or uncaring as I thought."
Robin's therapist cared for her and not only within the
artifice of the therapist patient connection. Caring for
another is a gift, showing that feeling is a good deed.
The connection that results from this sharing of feeling
forms an unbreakable bond. Caring starts with just one
hand put out there toward another. It's an antidote to
isolation and brings as much spiritual joy to the "carer"
as it does to the "caree."
The foregoing true
story submitted by Partners in Kindness Organization, is
documented in
Do Unto Others: How Good Deeds Can Change
Your Life.
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